Kaizen Wealth Life Transformation

  • Increase font size
  • Default font size
  • Decrease font size
Home Personal Development Becoming a More Assertive Person

Becoming a More Assertive Person

Wealth Creators are assertive and not aggressive.

Many people confuse assertiveness with aggression. There isn’t anything wrong or aggressive about open and honest communication when done appropriately. You’re merely clarifying your needs to another person.
  • Assertiveness is being able to express your feelings while still respecting the feelings of others.
Benefits of Assertiveness
Assertiveness is an important skill that can greatly reduce the amount of conflict in your life if used appropriately. Assertive people tend to see that their own needs are met in a timely fashion and therefore are healthier individuals with much less stress in their lives.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, passive people see themselves as victims and may become resentful and angry until one day they explode.
To help you avoid piling up resentments, I’ve compiled some techniques you can use to become a more assertive person.
Tips to Help You Become More Assertive
1.      Stick with the facts. When confronting someone about a problem, instead of exaggerating the situation by saying “You ALWAYS (or NEVER) ______” simply state the facts of the current situation.
  •   For example, if a person is habitually late, instead of telling them they’re always late, mention what time they arrived and what time they had agreed to be there. The discrepancy will speak for itself. 
2.      Begin with “I” instead of “You.” When you start a confrontation with “you,” it seems like an attack and usually puts the other individual on the defensive. Starting with the word “I” brings the focus to you – how their behavior has affected you and how you are feeling.
  •   Rather than criticize the other person, show the people in your life how their actions affect you. 
3.      Maintain a confident posture. Letting others see your confidence helps you to assert yourself.

  •  Stand up straight
  • Look people in the eye
  • Stay relaxed
  • Speak clearly
  • Respect the other individual’s personal space

Think of two people: one who is slouched over and afraid to look at your face and the other who is standing tall and commanding respect. Which one would you respect?

 4.      Use a firm pleasant tone of voice. Being assertive doesn’t mean raising your voice or getting emotional. Keep your responses short and direct. There’s no need to make excuses or justify your response.
·         Yelling only instigates more anger and possibly even violence. Speak your mind calmly to keep everyone calm.
5.      Don’t assume that you already know the other individual’s motives. You may be surprised to find they aren’t the heinous person you thought they were!
  • Just as you can’t judge a book by its cover, you might not know all the details of what’s happening in the life or mind of the other person.
6.      Listen and then ask questions. Instead of concentrating on how right you are, remember to listen to the other person’s point of view.
  •  Try to understand where the other person is coming from and ask questions to clarify any concerns you might have.
7.      Compromise. You may need to compromise to find a solution that meets the needs of everyone involved.
  • The best solution is when both parties are satisfied with the outcome.
8.      Evaluate. Every situation is different, so you’ll need to assess the circumstances to determine how much assertiveness is appropriate.
9.      Acknowledge your successes. Being assertive may not go well in every situation, but you can always learn from your mistakes and do something differently next time.
  • Acknowledging your success brings you the confidence to continue asserting yourself.
You may occasionally feel guilt about asserting yourself because it can feel selfish to speak up about your own needs. Just remember that you, too, deserve to be treated with respect. Only you can teach people how to treat you. Only you can do the best job of taking care of you.
Please share your wealth insights with us on the article by adding your comment at the bottom.

If you like this article, please click on the `Digg` image below. I'd appreciate it!


avatar sam
everytime i look at people straight in the eyes they think im arrogant and they cut conversations short.i therefore developed a habit of deliberately avoided eye contant.that seems to give the other party confidence and they tend to tell more of the truth than the opposite.how can i get the latter results with the eye contact?
List item
Name *
Email (For verification & Replies)
Submit Comment
List item
Name *
Email (For verification & Replies)
Submit Comment

Follow Me

 FB twitter

Personal Development Articles


Ian Powel
I have always somehow felt the need and want to make a change to my life, but have never been able to succeed or progress in any attempt. I have bought diaries, planners, used computer diaries, completed personal development courses, got excited, only to use them for a short while and then they become ornaments. Read more...
Rika Geyser
  I saw what a difference The Challenge made to my brother’s life. Not necessarily financial, although it is going well in that department. It is difficult to really pinpoint the real difference – it just looks like everything flows. I did The Challenge with sport in my mind. Read more...
Christo Van Wyk
I am so grateful for this opportunity  to say that I am a brand new person.  And will continue to be a brand new and better person. I have learned to understand myself better and investing in myself making me time, with the "TEMS" I can consciously program my mind to not let negativity enter my subconscious and I am doing Poweraffirmations. Read more...
Damien Senn interviews Dr Hannes Dreyer
          Damien Senn interviews Hannes Dreyer                 'How to develop a wealthy mindset'   Interview with Dr Hannes Dreyer Running Time: 62 mins 8 secs     To Download the Recording...             Right Click Here and select "Save Target As" To check out the links Dr Hannes Dreyer mentioned on the call click below www.warriorsagainstdebt.com... Read more...
Emile Fitzmaurice
  I am best in the mornings - fact.   I therefore have altered my routine to have Spiritual - Physical - Mental  time first thing, then Financial and later in the day Relationship time when I am more mellow.   I need to specifically address the Financial aspects and include them earlier  - this is one Read more...